The final episode of Jersey Shore Italy crept up on me while I wasn’t looking. It’s bittersweet because although it was the last week I had to sit and watch horrible Snooki and her hateful antics, I have thoroughly enjoyed this exercise in television writing. Here, a week late (sorry!), is my last recap of this hot mess.
Picking up from last week’s episode where Sitch left the club to sulk after no one would pay him any mind, we are witness to him talking to himself. He is slurring about how if anyone messes with him, he’ll take them down, and we get to see him practice his famous brand of karate moves again:
Every time he does this, it’s clear that he’s never taken a martial arts class in his life.
Shortly afterward, the rest of the troupe returns, and Ronnie, who apparently still thinks he’s Oprah, sits down with Sitch and has a “tough love” talk with him. He informs him that if he can’t get along with the housemates, he has got to go. Sitch is half incredulous, half amused, but still 100% self-pitying.
Sammi and Ronnie decide they need to “get their smoosh on” and head into the “smoosh” room for privacy. The prepubescent duo, a.k.a Pauly and Vinny, have a lot of fun commenting on how little time it took the horny couple to do the deed. It’s not lost on me that the only sex Vinny’s had in Italy was with a garden gnome, and the only sex Pauly’s been offered in Italy was with a girl he is clearly repulsed by. I’m sure they can hardly wait to get back to the Shore, land of the drunken, stupid women who will actually allow these guys within 10 feet of them. Read the rest of this entry »