Existential Crisis Continued

March 15, 2017

After yesterday’s post, I seem to have spiralled down into an abyss of both self-doubt and dreamy optimism. Yes, that abyss is basically an oxymoron.

I really do feel lost right now, but at the same time, I feel like so many options are available, if only I can harness my motivation and drive.

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Love Kernels, A.K.A. Things I’d Share With 20 Year Old Me

March 12, 2017

Okay…I know I’ve mentioned this twice already…but I cannot stress enough how much I love Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and how you should be watching.

I’m just getting into Season 2, because I’m behind (and I hate myself for it), but it’s still amazing, as far as I can see.

I’m into the fourth episode of the second season but I’m still thinking of Episode 1 because the musical numbers are fucking GOLD.

Not only can I not stop singing this song, but I’m beginning to wish this show had been around for my twenty something year old self. If I had a dollar for every love kernel my friends and I stockpiled in our twenties, I would’ve retired at 30.

It’s crazy how we took some small, insignificant sound bite from a conversation with our men of the hour, and twisted it to make ourselves believe that these guys were worth additional effort. We did this often, and without fail.

Bless this show and bless Rachel Bloom for showcasing this kind of thing that is so relatable.

This show is so good, guys 🙊


Would You Rather

February 22, 2017

Given the choice, would you prefer to be in a series of highly stimulating, generally healthy relationships, with no guarantee of happily ever after, or have one life partner you felt somewhat bored but comfortable with? Which scenario spells success for you personally?


Three Ways to Fast-track Emotional Intimacy

February 18, 2017

In my personal experience, there are a few situations that always end up advancing relationships. Three things in particular come to mind when I think of notable moments with friends, family or love interests.

Fire or candlelight: I am all about a nice roaring fire or some strategically placed candlelight. There is just something about the amber hues and the warmth of the flames that make a situation conducive to confiding or just good ol’ cuddling. Even solo, I could sit and watch a fire all night, and just get lost in it. Pair it with someone I am fond of, and there’s a whole other layer. Something about the coziness makes the situation foolproof for bonding.

Late night conversations: if you want to get closer to someone, platonic or otherwise, I’d recommend a late phone convo. Whenever I find myself hanging out with someone well after midnight for an extended period, chances are good that I will emerge from that hangout closer to the person than when I went in. The same is true for late night phone conversations…although I know most of you don’t engage in phone convos these days. You should, though. Something about a lazy and relaxed discussion with someone you care about, but with a phone line between you to eliminate any in-person pressure to physically react a certain way, makes the interaction easy going. And induces an intimacy that would not come so easily otherwise. Suddenly, you’re telling things you didn’t think you would, and learning things about the other person that you never thought you would.

Road trip: whether by car or bus or train, this is one of my favourite ways to connect with someone. Being on the open road just gives you a sense of connection akin to if you were the last people on Earth. Being confined to a vehicle with people just gives you a sense of togetherness you can’t deny. If you already like that person, and assuming you are emotionally compatible with them, you will probably emerge from that vehicle feeling more affection for them, and likewise, they will love you more.

At least this has been my experience with emotional intimacy. Share yours! 😏

 


Ever hate your friend’s significant other?

February 17, 2017

UGH. Worst feeling.

I generally don’t tell the friend how I feel unless there’s a serious concern regarding possible abuse. But honestly, shouldn’t emotional abuse be up there?

I always exercise the utmost respect towards the significant other unless there’s some major issue. Specifically if the friend marries that significant other. And I always pretend be neutral when my friend starts trashing her spouse (yes, this is extremely specific), because I know that it’s likely that fences will be mended by the time I come up with a concrete opinion.

But wow…there are so many things I’d say if I wasn’t scared my friend would basically ditch me in favour of this asshole.

Not sure where I can go from here…do I wait for him to shoot himself in the foot? And if he doesn’t? Then what?


Love at first sight / slash / lust at first sight?

February 16, 2017

I hear about “magical” meetings all the time, where people know right away that someone is their “soulmate” or similar.

This is an honest-to-goodness question from me to you: am I just jaded?

Because I do not posess the emotional gear to believe in this shit. Maybe it’s due in part to my personal past, but if a guy told me I was his forever within a week after meeting me, he’d basically see a cloud of dust, and I’d long have disappeared into the witness protection program. I really can’t subscribe to this kind of fantasy. Even if he was right, and we did end up madly in love 30 years out, I’d rather he keep those cards close to his chest for at least….well, longer than a week. I have had enough long term relationships to know that shit comes to light fast and often over the first several years. Even more after you live together.

I would have some serious cross-examination questions for those who have been “happily” married for decades after such a hasty beginning. Because something tells me their “happily ever after” doesn’t mirror mine.

Goodnight from my cynical self 😏


I just had a hilarious-slash-horrifying thought

February 11, 2017

(Disclaimer: opinions are my own; some hyperbole involved in terms of stats)

Thanks to pop culture and all the bullshit we’ve been fed, about 99% of women have faked an orgasm at some point or another, if not regularly. Some more often than others, sadly. We’ve been socialized to accept that our orgasms are unicorns and so we should take what we can get, which is usually not a whole lot of anything impressive, if we heed that terrible advice. Along the same vein, about 99% of men think they know how to satisfy a   woman because most of the women they try to satisfy are faking it.

Yikes.