How Do I Wean Myself Off Pessimism?

April 27, 2017

I’m sure a therapist would have a field day with me.

I have this weird inclination to expect the worst, especially if I’m struggling, but even if I’m not. Any self-respecting optimist will lecture you about thinking positive in order to attract positive things. Mind you, if any of these optimists knew anything about physics, they’d know that a negative charge attracts a positive charge, so…there’s that.

I have a superstition I never even realized I had. 99% of the time, I train myself to hope for the best, but expect the worst.

I’ve been anxious all week because of work things, including a conference I knew I’d be attending. I was convinced it would be a horrendous experience for various reasons that I won’t get into – and half-way through the convention, I am realizing this is one of the best experiences I’ve ever had at this particular conference. Instead of taking this as evidence that I should let myself expect better, I think, deep down, I’m convinced that my stress contributed to the goodness. I know that’s ludicrous, of course. But still…

Does anyone else suffer from this bizarre affliction?