Love Kernels, A.K.A. Things I’d Share With 20 Year Old Me

March 12, 2017

Okay…I know I’ve mentioned this twice already…but I cannot stress enough how much I love Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and how you should be watching.

I’m just getting into Season 2, because I’m behind (and I hate myself for it), but it’s still amazing, as far as I can see.

I’m into the fourth episode of the second season but I’m still thinking of Episode 1 because the musical numbers are fucking GOLD.

Not only can I not stop singing this song, but I’m beginning to wish this show had been around for my twenty something year old self. If I had a dollar for every love kernel my friends and I stockpiled in our twenties, I would’ve retired at 30.

It’s crazy how we took some small, insignificant sound bite from a conversation with our men of the hour, and twisted it to make ourselves believe that these guys were worth additional effort. We did this often, and without fail.

Bless this show and bless Rachel Bloom for showcasing this kind of thing that is so relatable.

This show is so good, guys ūüôä


But seriously

February 26, 2017

…I can’t stress enough that you should be watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. It’s literally my favourite comedy that is currently on TV. Rachel Bloom is a genius and everything about this show is so well done. Even if you hate musicals, I guarantee you’ll love this show’s musical numbers. They’re hilarious and riveting and not what you’d expect. This show’s comedy may be dark at times, but you can’t look away, I dare you. I just love everything about this show. I’m pretty new to it and I’m not even through the first season yet (almost, though, and I’m trying to catch up), but it’s one of those shows I almost immediately¬†worshipped upon first viewing.

Please give it a try so that it doesn’t get cancelled prematurely! It’s critically acclaimed but still underrated by the masses. I promise you won’t regret it.

A couple of Underrated Shows

January 28, 2017

I promise I will get to the¬†subjects I teased¬†very soon, but I just want to quickly talk about two shows I’m loving right now.

1. Nashville: I watched several episodes of the first season by accident – one of those too-busy-or-lazy-to-change-the-channel situations where a show I regularly watch was on before it. I definitely enjoyed it, despite my history of not being a country music fan. Not only is the music on this show absolutely stellar) but the performances and writing are great.

I admit I haven’t kept up with the show since the early days, but I’ve gotten back into it this season, and it’s still great! Definitely worth a watch, if you’re looking for a new show.

2. My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: I heard about how good this show was a couple of years ago on some random NPR podcast I was listening to. I never got around to actually checking it out until one of my local channels recently decided to start airing two episodes every weekend.

It’s amazing and I was hooked from minute one. It’s hilarious, clever, quirky, musical in a way that¬†even non-lovers of musicals will appreciate (the musical numbers are unorthodox and awesome), and the characters, while all flawed, are super likeable. I’m still on Season 1, so there’s still time for the characters to start getting on my nerves…but that inevitably happens with most great shows anyway, right? Just trust me on this, and check it out.

P.S. Rachel Bloom (creator, writer and star of the show) is super talented and hot as hell. Women who are both funny and hot are my faves. ūüėć

The End of “Obnoxious”

October 29, 2011

The final episode of Jersey Shore Italy crept up on me while I wasn’t looking.¬† It’s bittersweet because although it was the last week I had to sit and watch horrible Snooki and her hateful antics, I have thoroughly enjoyed¬† this exercise in television writing. Here, a week late (sorry!), is my last recap of this hot mess.

Picking up from last week’s episode where Sitch left the club to sulk after no one would pay him any mind, we are witness to him talking to himself.¬† He is slurring about how if anyone messes with him, he’ll take them down, and we get to see him practice his famous brand of¬†karate moves¬†again:

I'll tell ya, this guy provides unexpected comedy relief if nothing else

Every time he does this, it’s clear that he’s never taken a martial arts class in his life.

Shortly afterward, the rest of the troupe returns, and Ronnie, who apparently still thinks he’s Oprah, sits down with Sitch and has a “tough love” talk with him.¬† He informs him that if he can’t get along with¬†the¬†housemates, he has got to go.¬† Sitch is half incredulous, half amused,¬†but still 100% self-pitying.

Sammi and Ronnie decide they need to “get their smoosh¬†on” and head into the “smoosh” room for privacy.¬† The prepubescent duo, a.k.a Pauly and Vinny, have a lot of fun commenting on how little time¬†it took the horny couple to do the deed.¬† It’s not lost on me that the only sex Vinny’s had in Italy was with a garden gnome, and the only sex Pauly’s been offered in Italy was with a girl he is clearly repulsed by.¬† I’m sure they can hardly wait to get back to the Shore, land of the drunken, stupid women who will actually allow these guys within 10 feet of them. Read the rest of this entry »

Meatball Madness & Other Catastrophes

October 16, 2011

Week 11 at the Shore manse in Italy picks up where we left off, with Snooki the Terrible telling her boyfriend Jionni that she did, in fact, have sex with Vinny the other night.¬† He tells her he’s devastated and gets all emotional – communicating in a way that is more articulate than Snooki is probably able to understand.¬† She just knows the news is not good.¬† I can’t help but notice¬†that during an argument, he and Ronnie are night and day.¬†¬†Jionni talks about how Snooki has made him feel and tries to show her the issues from his perspective.¬† Ronnie shoves Sammi, beats his chest, and¬†spews verbal abuse. Amazingly, the rest of the crew never bats an eye when Ronnie behaves like a bully, and yet they all thought Jionni was a jerk because he “should have known how Snooki is”, so apparently everything was his own fault.¬† I ask myself, not¬†for the first time, why Jionni has associated himself in any way with the¬†likes of these people.

Deena, once again,¬†tries to convince Pauly to “do sex” with her.¬† I still do not understand, for the LIFE of me,¬†why this girl hasn’t clued into the fact that this guy would rather have his head dipped into a vat of hot wax than have sex with her.¬† HE. DOES. NOT. WANT. YOU.¬† Good lord, get a clue, and stop humiliating yourself.

While Deena plans to cap the night by sleeping with Pauly, Pauly is telling us that he needs to make sure he brings a girl home from the club so that the spot in his bed is occupied.¬† I’m not optimistic that he can make that happen, unless they find a spot filled with drunken Americans wanting to make their television debut in his bed with a camera and a black light pointing at them.¬† Because, in case you haven’t noticed, these guys have yet to score with an Italian girl.

Turns out, they do meet English-speaking girls, presumably from somewhere in North America.¬† One of them touches the sculpture on Pauly’s head and he pretty much freaks out on her.¬† So…no go with this one.

By the time Sammi and Ronnie decide to leave the club, Pauly still hasn’t found a girl¬†he can¬†bring home to¬†save him from what he clearly sees as certain doom.¬† As they leave, Ronnie jokingly warns Pauly that he doesn’t want Pauly hooking up with Deena.¬† Pauly looks at him as though he’s just suggested that Pauly find a rabid dog and have sex with it.

"Are you on crack?"

Yup, Deena.¬† That is certainly the facial expression of a guy who wants you, but doesn’t want to ruin your friendship. Sure.

Pauly, Vinny and Deena barely make it into the taxi before she starts propositioning him again.¬† This has moved past embarrassing, and is starting to get creepy.¬† The whole way home, she harasses him, and he tries to talk his way out of it without coming out and telling her that he’s repulsed by her.¬† He even throws in a “joke” about how after he f**ked Vinny, it’s never been the same.¬† Mm-hmm, Pauly.¬† Do go on. Read the rest of this entry »

Snooki the Terrible, Part Three

October 9, 2011

When will it end?¬† Forget this being “The Snooki Show”.¬† At this point in the season,¬†Jersey Shore is now the “Snooki is Horrible” show.¬† Being an idiot is one thing, but when you put “idiotic” together with “mean-spirited” and “self-centered”…well, I’ll tell ya…it ain’t pretty.


Well, looky here…Snooki wakes up smelling of shame and humiliation once again.

Not a pretty sight

Actually, that’s not right.¬† She should feel these things, but it’s becoming obvious that she’s immune to the thoughts and feelings that separate humans from lower forms of life.

Because she’s convinced that the world revolves around her, she rudely wakes JWoww up at 7 am –¬†hey, if Snooki’s up, and wants someone to keep her company, then it must be so.¬† She then wakes up the rest of the house with her tantrum after JWoww tells her about Mike’s continued gossiping the night before.¬† He still hasn’t let up on¬†his claim¬†that they slept together, and she’s still denying it.

Sitch tells us: “She’s like the fugitive right now…and I’m harboring information!”¬† It’s snippets like these that make it crystal clear that these people do actually write their own lines. Read the rest of this entry »

Just When You Thought She Couldn’t Be More Awful

October 4, 2011

The ninth episode of Jersey Shore Italy is actually “The Snooki Show” again.¬† It opens with Snooks waking up, wearing the same outfit from the night before and reeking of tears and humiliation.

Oh, honey. You're a mess.

She makes a beeline for the phone to try to reach her boyfriend,¬†Jionni who *surprise* isn’t picking up.¬† She whines some more about how it was so unfair that he left her.¬† Just to recap, while clubbing in Florence with the roommates and Jionni, she lifted her skirt and gave the entire club an obscene show while dancing, featuring her “kooka” as a special guest.¬† According to all of the roommates, Jionni overreacted.¬† Personally, if my boyfriend pulled down his pants in a club and showed everyone his penis, I don’t imagine I’d be all that thrilled either, but I think my breaking up with him would be less about feeling humiliated and more about realizing that I was dating trailer park trash. Read the rest of this entry »