Your Privilege is Showing

April 29, 2017

There’s a constant stream on social media of privileged assholes who are forever bitching about rights initiatives, and when I say ‘bitching’, I mean they are whining that current initiatives are cramping their style.

International Women’s Day, Black History Month (and/or #blacklivesmatter), Pride events, and anything else that falls under a marginalized group’s event category, are all amazing and important to millions.

Truth be told, these should be important to you even if you don’t personally fall into the category of a marginalized demographic. Because we’re all human, and we’re supposed to look out for one another. It baffles me that more people don’t feel this way.

BUT if you are someone who questions why there isn’t an International Men’s Day (there is one though), or a White History Month (are you fucking serious?), or Straight Pride (honestly, sit the fuck down, you dumb bitch), then I’m here to tell you that you have issues.

Please spend some time researching the terms you seem to have a problem with. Try to understand that, sometimes, it’s not all about you. Better yet, be a more well-rounded person and engage with people who aren’t your exact mirror image, so that you can relate when issues outside of your bubble come up. Be friends or acquaintances with people who are different from you so that you don’t go into the world as a completely ignorant asshole.

Lastly, think of others the way you’d like to be thought of. I’ll bet  your empathy levels will go through the roof.





How Do I Wean Myself Off Pessimism?

April 27, 2017

I’m sure a therapist would have a field day with me.

I have this weird inclination to expect the worst, especially if I’m struggling, but even if I’m not. Any self-respecting optimist will lecture you about thinking positive in order to attract positive things. Mind you, if any of these optimists knew anything about physics, they’d know that a negative charge attracts a positive charge, so…there’s that.

I have a superstition I never even realized I had. 99% of the time, I train myself to hope for the best, but expect the worst.

I’ve been anxious all week because of work things, including a conference I knew I’d be attending. I was convinced it would be a horrendous experience for various reasons that I won’t get into – and half-way through the convention, I am realizing this is one of the best experiences I’ve ever had at this particular conference. Instead of taking this as evidence that I should let myself expect better, I think, deep down, I’m convinced that my stress contributed to the goodness. I know that’s ludicrous, of course. But still…

Does anyone else suffer from this bizarre affliction?

Ever hate your friend’s significant other?

February 17, 2017

UGH. Worst feeling.

I generally don’t tell the friend how I feel unless there’s a serious concern regarding possible abuse. But honestly, shouldn’t emotional abuse be up there?

I always exercise the utmost respect towards the significant other unless there’s some major issue. Specifically if the friend marries that significant other. And I always pretend be neutral when my friend starts trashing her spouse (yes, this is extremely specific), because I know that it’s likely that fences will be mended by the time I come up with a concrete opinion.

But wow…there are so many things I’d say if I wasn’t scared my friend would basically ditch me in favour of this asshole.

Not sure where I can go from here…do I wait for him to shoot himself in the foot? And if he doesn’t? Then what?

“Je ne sais quoi” is 4 words, not a 4-letter word.

February 13, 2017

“The secret to being a bore is to tell everything.” – Voltaire

I would go one step further and say that the secret to being an epic bore is to tell everything, and tell it in a hundred different ways.

One of the things I’ve lost patience for, since becoming an adult, is having to listen to people yammering on for longer than they should.  It’s amazing how many people go on and on when they could just spit out whatever it is that they have to say, and move on.

I’m obviously a fan of long, drawn-out conversations when it involves a juicy discussion with a friend about, say, a date – or anything else that requires extensive analysis. Obviously, these types of discussions are exempt from my wrath.  I’m also forgiving of the “drunken repeat”, where someone rehashes the same point over and over at a party because we’ve all been sipping on the sauce. That’s usually cute.

I am fresh out of tolerance, however, for people who feel like it’s acceptable to assault me with  lengthy accounts of dull things that don’t require lengthy accounts.

Do you remember in high school (and college or university), when the really good teachers and professors used to make it crystal clear that the essay they were assigning had better be succinct and boast quality over quantity?

I currently have regular contact with several people (ahem, professionally) who never learned that lesson – and who are, in fact, so thick that they likewise are incapable of reading between the lines in anyone else’s musings as well. Conversations with these people last for centuries. With one particular idiot, I literally let him think I agree with him half the time just  so the conversation can end, because listening to him is absolutely excruciating.

It would be funny if my life was a sitcom and I could throw snark at these nimrods – but alas, I am stuck being diplomatic and quietly homicidal.

I’m starting to see why people give it all up to go sell seashells on the seashore.

Thought of the Day

February 12, 2017

Every time I hand a bill to a homeless person, I wish for enlightenment for others. I really would love it if people would re-evaluate and pay attention to the homeless issues in their city.

I can usually tell if someone is begging for money to go get food or to purchase their chosen poison (booze, drugs), but that doesn’t really matter to me, unlike all these holier-than-thou bitches out there. Quite frankly – and I know this is an unpopular opinion – if a homeless person wants to take the money people give them to buy alcohol or whatever, I don’t judge them.

After a shitty day at work with a few choice assholes, I am known to go straight home and pour myself a stiff drink. And my life doesn’t suck. If I lived on the street and felt hopeless, hell YEAH I’d need a fucking drink. Good lord.

It is what it is, and everyone’s entitled to their point of view – but I’m so grateful for a roof over my head, a good job, my mental health…but listen. Not everyone has that. Judgy people need to back up and replace the judgment with an effort to educate themselves on how people become homeless in the first place. This is not the 1980s when there was no internet and people were ignorant because the media had free reign to BS them.

On a daily basis, you should remind yourself how lucky you are not to have circumstances that have landed you on the street. More importantly, you should remind yourself that, at any given time, all of us are just a few unlucky steps away from the same fate. Life is a crap shoot.

Stop judging people whose pasts you know nothing about.

Why Can’t I Be the Bigger Person?

February 2, 2017

I find it so difficult to smile and nod when someone is being an asshole. I used to be such a ray of sunshine when I was a fresh faced 18 year old. Even when I was face to face with someone’s obnoxiousness, I usually didn’t care because I could “rise above” it.

Now, I’m practically incapable of letting that kind of behaviour go, and I have no regrets. But it would be nice to be able to bite my tongue and sidestep confrontations at times. I am still fully capable of ignoring a sticky situation – I just have to spend an inordinate amount of time convincing myself to do so.

These days, this inner dialogue is a daily thing. Even with family. But I still have no special patience for crap, even from family members.

I just have so little tolerance for idiots, these days. Anyone else?!

Losing bonds

January 30, 2017

One of my personal policies is to not bring mutual friends into a conflict or issue I ever have with another pal.

I am starting to feel like I’ve basically set myself up to allow  toxic people to trample over me.

It’s pretty much a given, in the long term, that I lose friends who were mutually connected to a toxic person I cut ties with.

I am eternally blessed/cursed with the ability to see through people’s bullshit long before others do. We’re talking years and YEARS beforehand.

My personal ethics are such that I refuse to trash talk anyone to a mutual contact for personal gain. Most toxic types have no such policy, so I quickly catch wind that I’ve been not only talked about, but slandered too.

I think my main reason for letting the mutual friends go is that if it’s so easy for them to accept and believe outlandish crap fed to them by the toxic friend – without even approaching me or investigating for themselves – they were never really worth my friendship to begin with, were they?  This reality has dealt me some horrible blows, but it’s honestly the general rule.

As far as I’m concerned, if the price of dropping a toxic person means dropping people who choose to buy into the toxic person’s narrative, then it’s a price well worth paying for my sanity and overall well-being.

Brutal but true. Good luck to you if you’ve chosen to pander to  a toxic bitch, because it won’t end well. Cheers! 🍷😒