I think I’ve gone blind.

January 22, 2011

The most horrific sight greeted me when I scanned the news online the other day.

Honestly, I always say that the gods love to toy with me, that they are sitting around eating popcorn as they watch my life play out.  I imagine that, as they’ve watched me struggle to move past my writer’s hang-ups, striving for excellence in every literary project I undertake, they’ve been cooking up this latest twist of fate:  Snooki’s “novel”, A Shore Thing, has made the New York Times Bestseller List.

Can’t you just picture it?

God #1: Isn’t that sweet?  Precious is writing more and more often.

God #2: Yeah, she’s showing so much hope and optimism.

God #3: BOR-ING.  You know what would be funny?

Gods #1 and 2: We’re all ears.  Whatcha got?

God #3: What if a drunken gnome with no talent whatsoever were to make it onto a well-regarded list for literary types?  Would Precious not completely lose her shit?

All gods in unison: Brilliant.

I swear, they are trying to kill me. Read the rest of this entry »

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