January 18, 2017
Ever wanted to go back in time and counsel your younger self? Same here. Mostly not to take any shit from anyone.
These are some of the ways in which I would help out baby Precious….
1. About those guys I politely declined for dates. The ones I’d been friends with previously, and then, after I gave the the “thank you for the offer, but no thank you” response, treated me like actual trash…I would tell my younger self to verbally eviscerate these trash bags, and to forget about trying to be likeable and trying to save these idiots’ egos. I remember one guy in particular, who did his best to make me feel inadequate just because I’d said no (which I said while apologizing for my “no”, which – wtf). I wish I’d just told him no and then laughed at his subsequent meanness. Just to make sure he knew how fucking idiotic he was for his behaviour.
2. I wish I’d recognized the ways in which certain girls were edging me out of friendship circles, and I wish I’d just walked away, instead of sticking around and letting these girls treat me like a 2nd class citizen.
3. I wish I’d listened to my instinct when I wasn’t sure I wanted to include this one crazy bitch in my friends’ weekly happy hour event. Including her meant having to spend over a decade trying to shake this bitch off. Swear to god. Anyway, I’d tell my younger self to be more ruthless and just “do you”.
4. I wish I’d immediately told that one boyfriend I wasn’t into long term relationships when he passive-aggressively guilted me into a long term relationship. I wish I’d understood that I was within my right to be flaky and drop this dude (who ended up being a jerk anyway).
January 7, 2017
I live in a big city, so I walk a lot. The other day, I overheard a conversation between two guys who were walking a few paces behind me. They were discussing some sort of conundrum that one of the men was facing. It had something to do with his desire to change his relationship status with a female friend from “platonic” to “romantic”. I hadn’t been paying a whole lot of attention to their discussion until I heard Conundrum Guy say “Anyway, I told her that I cherish the friendship.”
Call me a cynic or whatever you will, but this line was enough to have me laughing on the inside – I didn’t want to collapse in hysterics right there on the street, shocking and wounding Conundrum Guy. It’s obvious to me, however, that this guy is letting his crush believe that he values her friendship above all else, when, really, he just plans to hover in the hopes that she will eventually give in and see him as more than just a pal. Read the rest of this entry »
August 20, 2011
I started off watching this week’s Jersey Shore episode with a song in my heart. This had much to do with my amusement regarding Abercrombie & Fitch’s statement released earlier in the week saying that they had asked Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino to please stop wearing their clothes, that they’d be happy to pay him and the rest of the cast to refrain from being free advertising for them. Gold, I tell you. I don’t care what their motivation is, be it a marketing ploy or sincere concern for their brand image. The move was so deliciously cheeky that I might just look into A&F clothes even though I’ve never shopped there before.
As this week’s episode begins, The Situation himself is finishing up his second booty call with the same idiotic girl he unceremoniously kicked out the last time. He unceremoniously kicks her out again.
As chivalrous as ever.
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February 6, 2011
I love me a pretty man.
In fact, I have a long, scrumptious history of surrounding myself with beautiful men, and that’s not even counting the gays. From the get-go, my taste in boys has tended towards guys who seem to not only have naturally good looks, but also harbor the talent to dress well and the predisposition to make special efforts in taking care of themselves. And, um…no, Jersey Shore girls, this does not include “juicehead gorillas” – I will leave those gems for you.
I appreciate a guy whose parents have blessed him with fabulous cheek bones or piercing eyes or kissable lips – but being pretty is about more than just your inherited good looks. Metrosexuals know this. They go out of their way to purchase products that help keep their skin healthy, they pay special attention to what’s hot for men in the current fashion season, and they generally show at least a modicum of interest with respect to how they present themselves to the world.
More often than I’d care to, I’ve heard men denounce metrosexuals as “closeted dudes”. Just as often, I’ve heard women speak of how they prefer their men to be “a guy’s guy” and how metrosexuals are supposedly not their type.
I’m totally into the idea of each woman having her own type – and thank heavens that not every woman is into the Pretty Man, because, let’s face it, that’s a few less women we metrosexual lovers need to fight off in the zoo known as the dating world. But honestly, I have to say: I think these people are completely full of shit. Read the rest of this entry »