Thought of the Day

March 9, 2017

Beware of people who make sure they are featured as the victim in all of their stories.

In my experience, people who only tell stories that paint them as the wronged party, generally hold a skewed life view. It’s not usually fair or accurate.

Also, people who speak ill of ALL of their “friends” are guaranteed to speak ill of you, too. I have a few personal examples – and those people are no longer on my friend roster. ✌🏼


Jumping Off Cliffs

February 2, 2017

This post isn’t about bungee jumping. It’s about straying out of one’s comfort zone. As I alluded to in a previous post, I’m a big fan of ditching the comfort zone. In my experience, only good things have come from me trying things beyond my safe zone.

A few examples:

When I joined a dragon-boating team, I worried that I wouldn’t be any good at a watersport, that I’d be a weak link, that the 7:00 am weekend practices would kill me. I ended up forming amazing friendships on the team, pushing myself physically in a way I hadn’t thought possible, and living the exhilaration of returning to competitive sport. Not to mention, my arms looked killer during training.

Another year, I decided to take a boxing class taught by a friend of a friend’s.Truth be told, on my way to the gym for the first class, I was temporarily gripped by anxiety for similar reasons to when I joined dragon-boating. Although that first class just about killed me (in a great way), I quickly fell in love with boxing, again met some incredible people, and now I’m quite confident I could knock someone out with a mean left jab if I had to.

The first time I had to make a solo business trip to a sizeable conference which included a number of social functions, I was nervous. I’m a pretty outgoing person, but it was still daunting. The first evening at the cocktail event, I ordered a drink at the bar, took a good swallow, and purposefully marched up to a small group to introduce myself, with a smile, to perfect strangers. So began one of the most successful and fun conferences I’ve ever attended. I also got to explore the city my way, without having to consider whether a colleague would be tagging along and have other ideas. Not only did this experience do great things for my confidence, it paved the way to my willingness and success in going  on solo vacations, even in places where I don’t speak the language. Today, solo is my favourite way to travel.

I think one of the reasons for this phenomenon is that most of the times that we try something that scares us (within reason, obviously), it’s actually not nearly as big of a deal as we think. It’s usually something that will enrich our life.

I’m not talking about hitchhiking with the shifty looking dude in the white van or going swimming after dark in a lake under a “Caution! Alligators! No Swimming” sign. That’s not challenging your comfort zone – that’s natural selection doing its job.

I just mean that doing things that you’re not completely comfortable with, but that you recognize as desirable potential accomplishments, often results in a small amount of discomfort, a lasting life lesson, and ultimately, an epically satisfying payoff.

Have you pushed your limits lately?

When Bad Dates Happen to Nice-ish People

April 15, 2011

The other day, a girlfriend of mine was regaling me with the details of a horrific date she’d been on.  It was so horrifying that it was funny, as is typical of a bad date – as long as you don’t take yourself too seriously, which we most certainly don’t.  We always suspect that karma is sending us presents for some of the mischief we get into.

“Definitely my worst date EVER,” my friend said, decisively.

“Well,” I giggled, as I involuntarily spewed part of my martini out through my nose.  “At least you got a great anecdote out of it!”

My girlfriends and I love to discuss, in painstaking detail, all drama that has ensued as a result of our dating disasters.  Sometimes on a date, I’ve actually felt myself waiting impatiently for the end to come, just so that I could speed-dial whoever and recount the gory details.  I’ve traditionally been greeted by disturbed gasps, followed closely by hysterical laughter.

While my friend and I discussed her disappointing rendez-vous, I started thinking back to some of my all-time greatest dating stories, and realized that some of the worst are also the most riveting – and by “riveting”, I mean “a disturbing and entertaining blend of horrifying and hilarious”. Read the rest of this entry »