How do you deal with someone who’s being abused?

Have you ever had a friend who was clearly in a bad relationship situation, but wouldn’t leave?

I’ve been there. She was/is a dear friend, but at a certain point, it was either let her be, or let myself be consumed. She never lashed out at me, but I always hear about abused women who lash out at would-be rescuers, all the time. I feel that if I’d been just a little more aggressive, her abusive husband would’ve  made her drop me.

Mind you, the physical aspect of the abuse wasn’t fully developed yet. Had it been, I would’ve dragged her ass to the police, I think. Mind you, he was a sneaky, narcissistic son of a bitch, so it would never have been that simple. Anyway, she eventually left, but not because of anything I said, much as I’d love to take some form of credit. It was all her and her strength. Most aren’t nearly as lucky.

What are the best ways to coax a friend out of a bad relationship? How long would you allow an abusive relationship to progress before you spoke up and said something to the perceived victim?

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