Unconventional in a Conventional World

Why is it acceptable for random people to abruptly and incredulously question me on my life choices?

“So when are you two getting married, already?” – addressed to me and my boyfriend at that time, after we’d repeatedly made it pretty clear that marriage isn’t the Thing for us personally.  And then this person made it seem like our noncommittal answer made us sub-par human beings or at least people of questionable character. This actually happened to me and my ex when we ran into the cousin of my friend in the airport on our way to a beach vacation. We were very uncomfortable, and quite frankly we wondered who the hell this guy – no close friend of ours- thought he was, interrogating us. It’s one of many such instances.

It brings to mind Carrie and Mr. Big in one of the Sex and the City movies, where Carrie’s fan yammers on about how she feels like she IS Carrie, until it’s revealed that Big and Carrie don’t plan on having children, and then it’s like, as Big later remarks, “she just found out Santa isn’t real.”

Why do people act like others’ choices affect them when they have absolutely nothing to do with them personally? Do we not have free will in present-day civilization?! Why, in the 21st century, do people feel like they are entitled to peer pressure you into doing what the majority do?

One of my friends at work has been like this consistently. If I had a dollar for each time she passive-aggressively asks me if I will join some sad dating site with her (no offence to you if you partake in online dating, it’s just not my thing, and I don’t need it), or asks if I’ve ever thought of doing _____ or why I’m cool with being single right now…well, I’d go on a nice shopping spree. It borders on obnoxious, because the thinly veiled message is that she’s judging me for not feeling as forlorn and desperate as she is always saying she feels. I think it makes her uncomfortable that I am content with (and in fact actively choose) my situation, because she practically makes a career out of not being content with hers.

I also don’t think she has any clue that I have tons of dating/relationship experience – way more than she has – but I don’t have anything to prove so I don’t really elaborate. When I decide I want to get back into a relationship, I won’t have any issues getting things going. So we’re not at all in the same boat or situation, as she seems to think.

I am worried that I’ll eventually snap and blast her if she doesn’t  shut the hell up. Anyone out there who’s had a similar experience? At what point do you stop having the ability or will to rise above these nosy, inappropriate types?

More importantly, WHY the hell do people who live inside the conformity bracket of society feel entitled to question the choices of those of us who have deliberately chosen to live happily outside of this bracket?


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