Californication: My (Most Likely Unpopular) Take

I very recently binge-watched Californication, and without getting carried away and writing a thesis on the issue, I have to say I’m disappointed in a few areas.

I watched in the first place because I’m an X-Files geek, and I’ve seen countless comments on internet X-Files posts gushing about Hank Moody and this show in general. I did thoroughly enjoy a lot of it. However, I was left rolling my eyes through a good portion of the 7 seasons.

Let’s start with the good.

The show’s theme song may be the best I’ve ever heard in recent times. I literally danced around my condo during all 84 opens. So kudos to the composer. YouTube it if you haven’t heard it.

This is my favourite Hank Moody moment of all time:


Best. Scene. Ever.

Moving on. I sort of enjoyed Hank’s relationship with Becca,  but so much was wrong with it, too, so it’s not on my list of faves.

Marcy was a hilarious bundle of fire, and Charlie is actually the funniest role I’ve seen Evan Handler in, so there’s that.

I loved a lot of the humour and artistry employed by the show, but quite frankly, I was generally irate after the second season finale, and certainly ready for it to be done after Season 4.

For the record, I asked my brother, a hetero male who has pretty much always been catnip for women, if he’d checked this show out, and he told me he’d tired of Hank Moody after less than two seasons and hadn’t bothered to continue. So all of the men’s rights activists can sit the fuck down in advance. My brother is one of the coolest men alive and also way, WAY more forgiving than I am in every domain. so if he was doubtful, I was listening.

I did manage to make it through the last 3 seasons, but honestly, I’m sort of bummed that David Duchovny, whom I have a huge amount of respect for, was cool with all 7 seasons of this.

In general, this show appears (true or not) to have been conceived by some loser who wishes life was like a porno film. In this poor soul’s world, all women are literally always horny and ready to drop their pants for any random man they meet.

Sorry, David D is hot, but I’ve known a number of hot-as-fuck men, and guess what? Most women are not going to rip their undergarments off to hook up with hot men who are even hotter than good ol’ David. Also, Charlie had the same thing happen multiple times…JFC assholes… this is not ever going to happen to you.

Disclaimer: I understand the gritty nature of this series, and I love it. But still…

1. Excessive use of the word “retarded” in a derogatory manner. Over 7 years. In the 21st century. What the fuck.

2. LOLing about the idea of a man being raped. Really David D?  You were cool with this line in the script? Way to fuck with the already-impossible case of any man who has to confront this kind of issue. Hard to watch.

3.  The convenient idea of the scores of attractive young women everywhere being hot and ready to either drop their pants for, or suck the dick of any random dude ANYWHERE, whether the dude is hot or not. Newsflash, dickwads: it doesn’t happen.

4. Almost every single guy that the main women characters hooked up with were pretty much hideous, and way below their leagues as far as the conventional beauty standard goes. And conveniently, all of the women Hank and Charlie hooked up with were far beyond their leagues. I know the show is set in LA but the level of hotness of these women is not credible.

5. The way Hank would act like any sexual situation involving  his daughter Becca was a nightmare….and then he bought a fucking prostitute for his alleged son. My rage knows no bounds.

I literally weep at the idea that there is a legion of Hank Moody fans…like…this is what you aspire to???




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