January 31, 2017
The first month of 12 is over for my personal “365 days of writing challenge” and I’m already feeling the benefits.
I haven’t written any particularly genius posts yet, but that’s not the point. I’ve managed to get into the habit of writing a published piece daily for the first time in a number of years. I’ve gone back to being inspired almost every day. I am now in the habit of finding potential content for my writing projects (even beyond this blog) in everyday experiences. One month in, and I’ve already re-trained some of my writing muscles. I can’t wait to see where I am at the end of this, and I am even more excited to experience the process.
This feels almost like journaling, although it’s certainly not as raw as the journals I kept for so many years. Now that I think about it, when I kept regular diaries, I was always highly inspired to work on my other (fictional) writing. I can already feel myself getting back to that place mentally.
This first month has not been easy. There are days when I come home from work exhausted, and wonder what the fuck I got myself into. Early on, I thought to myself, more than a few times, that I’d stupidly committed to the impossible. I am now feeling confident and ready to ride out the rough days – and you’d better believe there will be more tough days. As usual, it looks like hurling myself off the proverbial cliff, out of my comfort zone, will be a great gift to myself.
Thanks to everyone who is tagging along for the ride, I hope to entertain you, at least some of the time!
January 30, 2017
One of my personal policies is to not bring mutual friends into a conflict or issue I ever have with another pal.
I am starting to feel like I’ve basically set myself up to allow toxic people to trample over me.
It’s pretty much a given, in the long term, that I lose friends who were mutually connected to a toxic person I cut ties with.
I am eternally blessed/cursed with the ability to see through people’s bullshit long before others do. We’re talking years and YEARS beforehand.
My personal ethics are such that I refuse to trash talk anyone to a mutual contact for personal gain. Most toxic types have no such policy, so I quickly catch wind that I’ve been not only talked about, but slandered too.
I think my main reason for letting the mutual friends go is that if it’s so easy for them to accept and believe outlandish crap fed to them by the toxic friend – without even approaching me or investigating for themselves – they were never really worth my friendship to begin with, were they? This reality has dealt me some horrible blows, but it’s honestly the general rule.
As far as I’m concerned, if the price of dropping a toxic person means dropping people who choose to buy into the toxic person’s narrative, then it’s a price well worth paying for my sanity and overall well-being.
Brutal but true. Good luck to you if you’ve chosen to pander to a toxic bitch, because it won’t end well. Cheers! 🍷😒
January 29, 2017
To anyone who has watched some Seinfeld, remember when Jerry broke up with someone because she was a low talker? Or that time he dumped a woman for having man hands? What about when Elaine dumped David Puddy for basically not doing anything to occupy himself on a flight? Jerry and friends were always dumping people for outlandish reasons.
But I do believe one man’s petty reason is another’s deal breaker. I am totally one of those people who flips a switch and checks out for reasons that are seemingly insignificant to others.
Some of my offbeat reasons for ditching assorted guys of my past:
-he put his knife right in his mouth and licked it clean at the dinner table. I’m a stickler when it comes to basic table manners, and this was in public, to make matters worse – but quite frankly, it wouldn’t have made a difference if it had been in private.
-“I seen” was a standard phrase in his speaking repertoire and somehow “I saw” never made the program. I cannot deal with people whose mother tongue is English not knowing when to say “I’ve seen” and “I saw”. The minute a love interest utters the phrase “I seen“, I cringe. It just screams trailer trash to me.
-he couldn’t keep a beat on the dance floor to save his life AND truly believed he was a good dancer. I’m not sure what was more unattractive: the way he would screw up my groove by invading my dance space with his shitty swaying movements, or him actually believing he was good and being sort of cocky about it.
-the first kiss involved too much slobber or too much tongue. I have no tolerance for bad kissers – I did give a few second and third chances back in my teens or early twenties, but there’s no such thing as a good kisser having an off night – I’m sorry, there just isn’t. And I don’t enjoy being a guy’s smooching tutor. P.S. no bad kisser ever proved to be a great lover. I don’t care what anyone has tried to sell you. It just. Doesn’t. Happen.
These are the ones I’m willing to admit. I don’t feel bad about any of my dealbreakers, publicized or not – we like what we like. There are just certain things I can’t come back from, and that’s that.
What are your dating quirks?
January 28, 2017
Anyone? Because if you truly support this literal scumbag, and are still pretending to be tolerant, I honestly think you’re in denial of how xenophobic, misogynistic, and racist you yourself actually are.
January 28, 2017
I promise I will get to the subjects I teased very soon, but I just want to quickly talk about two shows I’m loving right now.
1. Nashville: I watched several episodes of the first season by accident – one of those too-busy-or-lazy-to-change-the-channel situations where a show I regularly watch was on before it. I definitely enjoyed it, despite my history of not being a country music fan. Not only is the music on this show absolutely stellar) but the performances and writing are great.
I admit I haven’t kept up with the show since the early days, but I’ve gotten back into it this season, and it’s still great! Definitely worth a watch, if you’re looking for a new show.
2. My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: I heard about how good this show was a couple of years ago on some random NPR podcast I was listening to. I never got around to actually checking it out until one of my local channels recently decided to start airing two episodes every weekend.
It’s amazing and I was hooked from minute one. It’s hilarious, clever, quirky, musical in a way that even non-lovers of musicals will appreciate (the musical numbers are unorthodox and awesome), and the characters, while all flawed, are super likeable. I’m still on Season 1, so there’s still time for the characters to start getting on my nerves…but that inevitably happens with most great shows anyway, right? Just trust me on this, and check it out.
P.S. Rachel Bloom (creator, writer and star of the show) is super talented and hot as hell. Women who are both funny and hot are my faves. 😍
January 28, 2017
One of my friends was talking to me about some guy she’s been dating, and I guess she hasn’t been too enamoured with him. She said that he awkwardly and somewhat formally broached the subject of becoming exclusive with her and that she always dreads when guys make that overture.
My reaction was basically “????????”
Am I alone in that I haven’t ever experienced this? I mean, I’ve dated guys and the situation we were in just sort of drifted off…and I’ve been in a number of exclusive relationships, but there’s no one instance I recall where I had a formal convo about being in an exclusive situation.
A part of me thinks the idea of that formal convo is just a thing for people who are sort of conservative and therefore pretty into rules. Where I’m from, a lot is unspoken, and it’s never posed a problem for me before.
Have you ever had awkward “we’re in a relationship” convos? Did they end well?
January 26, 2017
Quick post since I’ve been too busy to think up a real reflection for the day. Next two subjects I will write about: mean girl behaviour that I used to witness that made me distrust girls – and the curse of always being the first/only person in a given crowd to figure out that someone is a toxic person.