What did I tell you? As usual, the “cliffhanger” we were fed at the end of last week’s episode of Jersey Shore Italy yields nothing of true interest. Turns out the breathalyzer shows a 0.0 reading, and the police only take Snooki into custody because it’s taking so long for the guys to show up with her ID. Procedure, that’s all – although, based on her histrionics, you’d think she was being jailed in some East Asian prison for a murder she didn’t commit, with no hope of parole.
The guys arrive on the scene in time to see the car being towed, and Pauly dramatically states that they are stressed out because who knows – Snooki being arrested could lead to the entire group being kicked out of Italy! Gulp! Um…seriously, Pauly….are you actually a 10 year-old dressed up as a grown-up? What is wrong with you? Are you really that idiotic?
It’s no great surprise to find out that Snooki was ordered to pay a fine and had her license taken away. Contrary to what she tells Sammi, however, I highly doubt that she spent a nanosecond in a jail cell.
As Jionni gears up to arrive in Florence, he lets Snooki know that Roger, JWoww’s man, won’t be able to make it. Some sniffling and weepy discussions follow and the girls decide they need to take JWoww out to get her mind off of this unspeakable tragedy. The guys also decide to go clubbing, and engage in their bizarre version of dancing.
Apparently Snooki is still so shaken up by her horrific ordeal (and I get the feeling that the “ordeal” is not so much smashing into a police cruiser and sending a person to hospital, as it is having to spend time at a police station for the second time) that she’d rather stay home for the night. She’s tickled when Brittany, Sitch’s standing booty call in Italy, shows up drunk and ready to hook up with Sitch. Snooki thinks it will be the ultimate prank if she leaves Brittany in Sitch’s bed for him to find when he arrives with some other random chick. Snooki tells us that Brittany is “such a dumb blonde”. Yes, Snooki. What a bimbo. As opposed to you, the Rhodes Scholar, who just recently learned the word “continent”, but not the definition of one. Sometimes, I feel like these people make it too easy for me.
Anyway, so Sitch brings some random chick home, and finds Brittany in his bed: