To Mock or Not to Mock?

July 31, 2011

Hey beloved readers!

Jersey Shore and its horrible “stars” return to MTV in August – I’m actually not even sure of the specific date, but I will get on that right after I post this.

Anyway, as you know, I love to rant about things, and I love to mock questionable characters.  It’s practically my specialty! So I am thinking about watching this season of the Shore – especially because it’s set in gorgeous Italy (my condolences, Italia) – and posting weekly commentary/recaps after each episode.  I admit that I just can’t pass up an opportunity to poke fun at the Jersey Shore residents.  They make it so easy.  I know it will be amusing for me – and the aim is to execute it in a fashion that provides a regular source of entertainment for you guys without requiring you to actually sit through this debacle posing as a show.  I promise I’ll post about non-Jersey Shore things as well, in between.  Even if you don’t watch it, which you probably shouldn’t, you might enjoy my musings.  All it takes to harbor contempt for these people is a brief glimpse of them on Letterman or Entertainment Tonight, so it shouldn’t be hard for you to climb on board.

I will probably hate myself a little for watching, but I suspect that what will trump it is my horrified fascination with what will inevitably be a 14-week trainwreck.

Will you come back and check out my gleeful mockery of Snooki and the Merry Band of Underachievers? Show of hands!

Precious By Design


Anatomy of the “We” Monster

July 27, 2011

Have you ever noticed that certain people completely lose the “I” in their lives when they become part of a couple?

“We” monster: formerly cool friend who undergoes an unfortunate metamorphosis whenever he or she embarks upon a romantic relationship.

Chances are good that you either know a “we” monster, are guilty of being a “we” monster, or both. I have personally been commended by more than a few friends for Precious-in-a-Relationship’s striking resemblance to Single-Precious, so I’ve earned the right to be smug and condescending towards these creatures.  If you’re at all familiar with these people, you can agree that they have it coming.

You’ve known your pal forever.  Together, you’ve laughed your way in and out of dozens of relationship adventures, and up until now you thought of this person as a reliable confidant(e) and maybe even a partner-in-crime.  You feel like you know this person pretty well.

Then your friend finds herself (let’s assume it’s a female friend for our purposes, although guys are equally as likely to undergo this ugly transformation) in a relationship that is more functional, at first glance, than any of her past attempts at coupling up.

At first, you’re thrilled for her and look forward to the juicy tidbits she’ll no doubt be imparting as she and her new beau fall for each other.  You naturally expect her to be less available as she’ll be busy running through a meadow picking flowers and gazing longingly at her new love – or something to that effect (read: doing it like rabbits) – but you still figure that, as your friend, and as a civilized human being, she will continue to be a bright, positive force in your life.  So you’re absolutely not ready for what comes next.

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