Top Ten Facebook Friends I Hate

December 22, 2010

Facebook has become more than a social network to me.  It’s become something akin to the distant relative you hate, whom you’d love to shut out of your life completely, but know you never will.  It’s the relative that’s always stirring up the shit, causing conflict between you and your family or friends.  It’s that poisonous individual that somehow has a knack for messing with your self-esteem, and even makes you question your once solid affection for certain people.  Social network?  Try manipulative leech.

Seriously, Facebook brings out so many of the worst qualities in people.  I actually have a profound respect for the people who are holding out and refusing to join.  All eight of them.

I originally joined Facebook to see what the kerfuffle was about.  I immediately saw the warning signs of addiction and resolved to hang in a little longer (in order to reconnect with long-lost friends), and then close the account.  Almost four years later, here I am, with no way out in sight.

The problem, of course, is that nowadays people communicate via Facebook more than they use email, or even the phone.  It’s almost a given, these days, that when you hit it off with someone at a party or event, they will probably not take your number – they’ll add you as a friend on Facebook.  Let’s face it; it’s almost to the point where people will add you as a friend if they pass you on the street and hear someone they know call you by name.

As convenient and useful as social networking sites are, I firmly believe that certain people should be banned from using them, or at least schooled in the art of how not to come off as a narcissistic jackass. It absolutely blows my mind how many perfectly lovely people become obnoxious the minute they log onto Facebook or Twitter.

Everyone has a few friends whom they’ve begun to hate a little bit through Facebook, despite how close they might be to those friends in real life.  Come on, admit it.  I personally surprise myself daily by how many times I snarl, “No one cares!” at my computer screen.  Before you go thinking that I’m overly sensitive, please note that my ire is mainly sparked by those who commit these infractions on a chronic basis.

In an effort to channel my ever-growing contempt into a place other than an ill-advised status update of my own, I’ve compiled a list of what I consider to be the top ten most obnoxious Facebook users: Read the rest of this entry »

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